


Writober - In Canon - Blue List

by sacredcatrising



Series: Writober 2018 [15]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canonical Character Death, Feels, Gen, Pain, Writober, Writober 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-07 15:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16856557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredcatrising/pseuds/sacredcatrising
Summary: Mother.Just thinking about Her makes me shiver, a long, warm, sweet shiver runs through my back.Mother, I did my best, but he’s so strong.I can’t hear her voice, not in the limbo where I sank. From here I can only catch the clatter of the blades, the smell of the blood.Is it mine or the Black Sheep’s?Mother, please, don’t punish me.





	Writober - In Canon - Blue List

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Writober - In Canon - Blue List](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/437773) by ChiiCat92. 



_15/10/2018_

 

_In Canon_

 

_Mother_.

Just thinking about Her makes me shiver, a long, warm, sweet shiver runs through my back.

_Mother, I did my best, but he’s so_ strong.

I can’t hear her voice, not in the limbo where I sank. From here I can only catch the clatter of the blades, the smell of the blood.

Is it mine or the _Black Sheep’_ s?

_Mother, please, don’t punish me._

I can’t control my body anymore, because, after all, I _never_ had I body. The limbs She gave me were _on loan_ : just one third of the greatness, the power, the essence of…

_I can’t pronounce that name, I’m sorry Mother_.

I envy him. I know I shouldn’t, because I’m Him, but I’m just…a _part_ of Him.

I can feel his arms moving, raising, I feel like they were mine but…they aren’t.

_Mother, why they’re not mine? Why can’t they be?_

The muscles are full of adrenaline and lactic acid, the heart is pounding so loud that I feel like I’m going crazy. I resounds everywhere like a bell, a broken bell.

_Tonk tonk tonk._

It hurts so badly.

But I but I…I knew it, I knew it would have happened, from the start. My brothers knew it too, _is that right Mother?_

This world will end, but not today.

I can feel it in the nothingness surrounding me. Little hands that touch me, soft voices whispering at my ear. It’s like a tickle, a warm shiver on my skin.

_It’s over._

I don’t want to, I don’t wanna come back. I don’t wanna be the one to _die. I don’t want to, Mother!_

When I open my eyes again my legs can’t bear the pain. They’re mine, like mine are those hands, my sword. My blood.

I lift my eyes just to find myself face to face with _Cloud_. Why does he persist on staying alive? Why does he keep fighting?

I just wanted Mother to be happy! Now she will never be, never, never.

I can feel tears stinging my eyes, my hand’s grasp tighten around my blade’s hilt, and even if I feel, under my leather coat, blood gushing and pulling my skin, I throw myself forward, screaming in frustration.

My knees give up half movement.

_Mother! Please! I don’t wanna die!_

Cloud prevents me from falling, if I had strength left I would ward him off, I would bite him, scratch him. Is it really that bad? I just want him to stop breathing, I just want him to die!

And it hurts.

But I’m already that, isn’t that so? Cloud already killed me.

_I’m already dead Mother, what else could I do?_

Breathing becomes hard, I inhale small bites of air, every breathe is the last, the first, everything and nothing.

_Maybe we could be happy together now, Mother. I can be a good son, I promise!_

I feel a drop on my cheek and then another one, and another more. The sky is crying those painful tears, the ones that burn my skin, that cured Cloud’s illness but…this time they don’t hurt. It’s…pleasant…it’s…like when…

_« Kadaj…You don’t have to hang on any longer. »_

« Mother? » I’m able to mutter. « Is…that…? »

_« Everyone’s waiting, if you’re ready. »_

Everyone.

Everyone’s waiting.

Are there my brothers too?

_Oh, Mother, I wish they were there. We can be a family! A big, big family._

_Mother, will you teach me what a family is?_

Mother extends a hand and I don’t hesitate to grab it.

I just want…to be happy.

 


End file.
